Families in the U.S. and around the world are having fewer children as people make profoundly different decisions about their lives. NPR's series Population Shift: How Smaller Families Are Changing the World explores the causes and implications of this trend.
SALT LAKE CITY - When you think of big families, one of your first thoughts might be members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, commonly called Mormons. In the early 1980s, they were having an extra kid and a half compared to the rest of the U.S. on average. Latter-day Saints still have more children, but their families are shrinking.
The church's top leader addressed declining U.S. birth rates during the faith's semiannual General Conference in October, which millions of members tune into from around the world. (There are more than 17.5 million Latter-day Saints globally, according to the church.)
Dallin H. Oaks, the newly appointed prophet and president of the church, said that while birth rates within the church are higher than national numbers, they've still declined "significantly."
"It is vital that Latter-day Saints do not lose their understanding of the purpose of marriage and the value of children. That is the future for which we strive," he said. "Our relationship to God and the purpose of our mortal life are explained in terms of the family.
In Latter-day Saint theology, people live as spirits in a pre-mortal world. Being born on Earth is how humans get a body and learn and grow. They also believe it's a commandment from God for people to "multiply and replenish the earth."
Bishop Steve Eror oversees a congregation in Salt Lake City, where the church has its headquarters. He said the number of kids in his charge has been going down and he mourns the loss, partly because he thinks children and adults have a lot to learn from each other. Eror says the church's focus on kids has to do with their belief in eternal families — that families can be together forever.
But he worries about there being enough kids in his congregation to support each other.
"Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is not easy," he said. "There is a real benefit for having that community where, you know, you're living the same standards and you have similar beliefs, and you're strengthening each other."
The church's senior leadership didn't grant NPR's request for an interview or comment.
Catholic University of America demographer Stephen Cranney crunched the numbers on the religion's families. In 2008, about 70% of Latter-day Saint women aged 18-45 had at least one child at home. In 2022, that number was 59%, a rate of decline mirrored in the American population at large.
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Eror said they have to adapt to this new reality — his congregation's youth and kid's church classes didn't have enough students, leading them to partner with another congregation.
'I don't think I could have juggled more'
On a recent Sunday afternoon, children wiggled in their seats as they sang, "Every star is different, and so is every child."
Ryan and Missy Allen's two kids were among the singers. After church was over, their kids ran around in the foyer as the Allens talked about how they once wanted three, but didn't think they could make it work because they can't afford a bigger place to live.
"But also, I don't think I could have juggled at least one more because I'm losing my mind with two," Missy laughed.
They both work — she's a photographer and he's an electrician — but Utah has one of the most expensive housing markets in the country. Even with the tough economic reality, they prayed about their decision. Ryan said they eventually felt at peace with two children. But Missy said that if they had felt it was right to have a third kid, "We would have just done it and held our breath and really hoped that God would provide."
Eror would have counseled them to take that leap of faith if that's where inspiration led them, despite the financial uncertainty.
"The Lord provides a way to step up and take on the roles that he needs us to take on," he said. "I've never gone wrong trusting my Heavenly Father."
'We can, but we're not'
Spencer James is a Brigham Young University family life professor and a church member. He said the Allens aren't alone; Latter-day Saints aren't immune to the things that affect other Americans, like rising housing prices and expensive childcare. But he doesn't think smaller families will lead to an identity crisis for the faith.
"I do think that it could lead to some questioning of, how do we reorganize society in a way that values children, that values families in better ways than we currently have."
In addition to expenses, James said lower birth rates could also be a result of a lack of community support.
"Right now I think in many ways, potential parents feel like raising this child is all on me," he said. "And the community that used to exist still likes the idea of me having children, but they're not there for me in the same way."
That's partly why Gregory and Anna Gabbott chose to stop with their two girls, who like to tickle each other and play with Star Wars toys at their home in Bountiful, Utah.
The Gabbotts wish there had been more affordable support for them after birth; Anna had post-partum depression after their first, and both of their children had trouble sleeping as babies.
Church members sometimes ask if they'll have more, so the Gabbotts feel some pressure and expectation. But Anna says it's a good reminder to be less judgmental of others.
"Whether it's like tattoos or like anything else, it's like, well, I can't judge them for that if I don't want them judging me," she said. "And so I feel like it hopefully helps me be a little bit kinder as a Christian."
Anna believes there are more ways she can follow the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth, like raising plants or creating art. She also believes the cultural pressure among Latter-day Saints to have lots of kids is slowing and shifting toward individual relationships with God.
But even though the Gabbotts believe God is good with their decision, they feel a little guilty.
"There is that kind of feeling like, oh man, like, there are people out there who want more kids and who are trying to have more kids, but they can't. And…" Gregory trailed off in thought.
Anna chimed in. "We can, but we're not."
"Does that make us bad people?" Gregory wondered out loud with a chuckle.
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