A series of community events being held in central New York this week is designed to help survivors of abuse.
Psychotherapist Mike Lew is leading the workshops and has been working with male survivors of sexual abuse for decades.
Lew said in the 1980s, he decided he wanted to form a group to help male survivors. His colleagues thought it might take two years to find participants, but within a few weeks, he said he had two groups and a waiting list.
Lew said many male victims of abuse have trouble speaking out.
"The fact that we don't recognize that both boys and girls are abused speaks to our discomfort about gender, about sexuality, and about abuse," Lew said.
From Oct. 1-3, Lew will be leading workshops and discussions in central New York. The event is being put on by McMahon Ryan Child Advocacy Center, the Hope, Healing, and Solidarity Coalition, THRIVE, and Vera House.
"What we are desperately trying to do is put a voice and a story behind this, so that men know they are not alone, and that they can start to open their mind to receiving some sort of help,” said Tracy Dando, who is the community healing and media outreach coordinator at Vera House.
National statistics show that one in four girls and one in six boys are sexually abused before the age of 18.
Lew said male victims are facing different social expectations than female victims and have different challenges.
"You hear all sorts of things from male survivors like, 'Well, I didn't do anything about it,’ not remembering that they were like five, 10, 14, and they had no power,” he said.
The events will be held in three different parts. On Oct. 1, there will be a community discussion at the Fayetteville Free Library from 6 p.m.- 7:45 p.m. That event is free and open to the public.
On Oct. 2, Lew will lead a professional development training for clinicians or others who work with male survivors of sexual abuse. Registration details can be found here.
On Oct. 3, Lew will guide survivors through healing exercises. Registration details for that event can be found here.
Lew said providing education to the whole community can help with fighting the stigma survivors face.
“If a survivor discloses to you, that's a tremendous act of trust, and you've become a safe person,” he said. “So, if you're able to listen, listen without judgment."
Dando said she knows seeking help can be challenging, but she encourages survivors to give the program a chance.
“Just walk in the door, and I promise you, being there with a bunch of other survivors in the presence of Mike Lew, there is a safety container that is created, and the hardest part is just taking the first step,” she said.
